Prove Yourself to Yourself, Not Others

Regina Brett said it best in the quote “what other people think of you is none of your business”. 😲 WOW! Right?

Basically, stop caring so much about what other people think.

That can be easier said than done, but why? Social psychologists have found that our “self” is made up of 3 parts- self-knowledge, the public self, and the agent self (for executive functioning).

The public self is the part of us that needs to be accepted and wants to impress others. This need to impress is so firmly rooted in our subconscious thinking that it can cause us to do some pretty ridiculous things. For example, Count Zrinyi chose to dress up in his best clothes, with his finest jewels, when going into a battle he was certain he would lose. The first reaction we have when reading this is “why would he do such a ridiculous thing?” When asked, he told his people that he wanted the other side to know they had killed someone important.

Consider his actions, the next time you find yourself desperately seeking approval. Examine your reason for desiring the acceptance from a person or group. If you find that the judgement of others, in your situation, doesn’t serve any real purpose, let it go. Don’t wear your finest jewels into battle, unless you have a great reason for doing so!

Instead, consider your morals and beliefs before doing things. Besides, aren’t you the person you’re around the most? Impress that person!

Take care!

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